This is an interesting topic. But I'm pretty sure Phillips Hue is (at least) an okay choice. ;-)
But to be honest, I don't own a Hue bridge myself. But you can use the Apple HomeKit integration of the Hue bridge and use all the Homekit goodness (including Siri). And as far as I can tell, Apple HomeKit is much less of a "surveillance system" than Google Home and Alexa. But that's another rabbit hole to dive into.
I started my home automation / smart home journey with homee. It's pretty cool. If you own the ZigBee cube, you can connect Hue bulbs, IKEA Tradfri bulbs, OSRAM Smart Plugs, Innr smart bulbs and a lot more. And if you also buy the Z-Wave and EnOcean cubes, there are a ton of different devices (like switches, motion sensors, radiator thermostats, alarm sirens, smoke detectors, cameras and a lot more) you can add to your home automation by using a single "bridge".
The most important part for me was, that I can use affordable smart bulbs like the IKEA ones out-of-the-box.
Hi Ben. One more thing. I tried to use a twitter liquid tag to show a tweet in this comment. But as soon as I press the preview button, it says "Bad Authentication". Looks like something is wrong with the API Key / twitter integration.
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